I’ve been born again for nine years and in my entire journey with the Lord, I’ve not had to deal with so much doubt like I dealt with towards the end of 2015 and the start of 2016, while everyone is always excited by the festive season and the start of the New Year, the excitement was visible on the outside but deep inside my heart, I was countering so much doubt about my spiritual life, I hadn’t reached the level of doubting God’s existence but at least that’s where I was headed even when I felt the conviction that it was against everything I stood for as a believer.
When I realized that this was going on, I sought to understand why I thought way and to my disappointment at the time, God didn’t give me a direct answer or even sending over someone to give me the answers I was looking for, it was worsened by the death of 2 close friends at the start of 2016 , one of which I’d personally laid hands on and believed that he was actually healed only to hear the news that he had passed on, I didn’t break down emotionally but spiritually I felt like and knew that this wasn’t God’s will which lead me to probing what it is that we did wrong for this guy not to have been totally delivered.
A few days later I was meant to start work after getting an offer from the university only to be told that I’d have to wait a while longer for my appointment to be processed, this was in addition to the fact that I had travelled with no money on which to survive during this waiting period and being away from Home meant that I needed to creatively find food, transport etc. Good thing is that I’m still very alive and well despite all that’s been going on.
The reason why I gave the above stories was so I could connect what I want to share with why I want to share it. This morning as I was seeking the lord for answers as to why I’d been doubting and as I listened to a sermon on ‘Dwelling in the Presence Of God’, He gave me 2 scriptures in the book of Mathew.
Mathew 6:21 “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also”
Mathew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
These scriptures I know have been quoted and used countless times, however for me, reading them today gave me a fresh revelation that lead me the answer I was looking for so much that I couldn’t wait to share it with you. For every new covenant believer, we understand where our treasure ought to be, Jesus in the words before Mathew 6:33 labored to give examples of how other living creatures much less in intelligence that we are don’t struggle to do anything or even earn anything but still they thrive in their nature, he meets their needs somehow. Specifically they don’t spend much of their time worrying and trying to figure out how they’ll survive, how they’ll eat, and drink, dress, this is in contrast with us who even after understanding that God’s our provider, still find ample time to worry and fix our minds on figuring out how everything needs to be done.
This is not to say we may not plan or imagine how things ought to be, in fact we need to do all this but bearing in mind that we don’t make our own plans and then invite God to come and tag along, no, we go to God and ask him to reveal his plans for our lives and then we cooperate with him, only through this will we be able to keep our mind stayed on him (Isiah 26:3). We can’t possibly know how everything will be done but if we completely trust in the Lord, then we’re sure that he has our best interests at heart (Jeremiah 29:11) so we choose (Intentionally) to go against the world’s prescribed way of thinking that emphasizes looking at all that’s going on around, all the negative news of weather, the financial instability, elections and choose to focus and the promises of God prescribed in his word.
In Uganda today, because of the election season, everyone seems to hold the same belief that we have to worry about the future, even the religious leaders that we hold in high regard because of their supposed spiritual maturity have not failed to sow seeds of worry among their congregation to the extent that special sessions of prayer have been held for the country which on the surface looks like a very noble act in the light of our country’s moto but the sad truth is that instead of comforting the hearts of the nations, it has further cemented the thought that violence will most certainly happen come February. As much as I believe in the power of prayer, I know for a fact that given the way our minds think, we are most likely to start worrying instead of trusting. I honestly believe that as a country we need to start assuring the people that God’s in control and we need not to prayer in such a way that we are ‘arm twisting’ him to listen more or to pay attention to poor Uganda that’s going through elections.
Seeking first the kingdom of God has nothing to do with attending church or actively doing ministry and all the other acts of worship that are dominant In the body of Christ today, it means that we are actively in fellowship with the Lord on an individual basis loving on him and wanting to understand what his will for our lives is, this means that we make this a priority in our hearts above everything else, in whatever sphere of influence we are in, we need to understand where our priorities are and in this case it’s fellowship with the Lord, this is not an easy task, it’s one that’ll get you in trouble so many times because the world doesn’t work like that, in the actual sense it’ll be battle that you’ll have to fight with every weapon in your spiritual armory. All the ‘acts of worship’ after this become fruits of this fellowship with the Lord and it’s largely based on your thorough understanding of how much God loves you (1John 4).
We need to get to a place where ‘seeking first the kingdom of God’ is a daily affair and it’s part of our identity not just one special session of prayer or fasting, we don’t have to even entertain worry in our mind about anything no matter how big we think it is, some of us think when we worry, we’re actually solving the problem when in the actual sense we’re exposing ourselves to all forms of stress and depression. Like Andrew Womack always says, ‘I’ve not yet arrived but I’ve definably left’ This is a continuous process, we keep seeking till the day we go to be with the father and even as I write this, I’m also learning how to do this so I can’t say I’ve perfected the art but I know the process has begun.
If you feel that God’s been speaking to you on the same issue, I’ll request that we pray together and watch and see the impact this will have on your life.
Father in the name of Jesus I thank you for all who’re humble enough to admit that they need to keep their minds stayed on you. I pray for everyone that’s reading this and they feel like they haven’t been seeking first your kingdom , I pray that you’ll inspire them and that your holy spirit will continue to guide them as they start or renew this journey, father I command every thought of doubt that’s been sown by the devil to be removed right now, every form of worry and desperation Father I command it to leave their mind and for the establishment of thoughts about your word Lord, I pray this Jesus you’ll hold every thought captive and that every imagination that’s born to be in accordance with scripture and not the worlds standards, This I pray believing and trusting in the name of Jesus, AMEN.