Dead To Self

Outcast from the lot, I marvel at the past for a moment of truth,

My mind sinks in departure with effortless depression,

What lies ahead is reality in only those fringes of memories left untouched,

I have seen it all, lived by what others have considered to be natural selection,

My body is fully aware of the storm, unaware of the serenity in the eye of that storm,

I stand in admiration of those that built their momentary trust on the things divine.

My steps are numbered in expression of a rugged path that unfolds ahead,

Am greateful for the ability to forecast the weather as the sun comes closer to my heart,

It takes only a second for my mind to create a pattern of unending sorrow from within,

I wait for the day to arrive, when things will take on a shade of light sourced from above,

Taking on the challenge seems only logical when the pain and shame can be masked in glory,

I have untold stories of the end being told to those in the past of my life, my legacy has been foiled.

I have lived only to squint at the destiny marked for me ahead of time,

There’s only a few choices left to be chanced, my soul is sold out to pick out of ease,

Just then, as it starts to make sense, I seem to have my mind stayed on an illusion,

The decency to behold the touch of her gaze is left to my imagination, the meal is served hot,

I owe an apology to the makers powering the system, the least I can do is admit failure,

In regret I have found no room for a faultless plan to regain my original place of might,

Defeat looms as the battle is already won, victory is not in a mile’s distance,

I blotted reality in the hope for a redemption, only a touch of peace can save my death,

In praise of the winning team, the chants elevate the stakes to a level far above my head,

I cannot find a room of comfort in the thoughts tramping on the only good that’s left in me,

My death is one envisioned at the very entrance to life after death, it was written,

For it is no longer I that lives, but Christ who lives in me, both to will and to do.

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